just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
