I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
