Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
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