Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
