You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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