Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
