i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
