Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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