No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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