His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
My dick has a subreddit
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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