she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize