one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
