Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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