Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
