The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
