Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
