4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
