Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
