you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
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First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
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My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?