I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
