They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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