Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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