I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
