I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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