Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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