He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
