i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
