ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
