Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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