Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
