last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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