There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
