Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
