Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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