? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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