im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
