I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
she peed on how many people?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
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