You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
