So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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