youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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