I hate all girls vehemently.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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