I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Dignity is for republicans.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You've changed since you got that strap on
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
