Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
