So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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