Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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