So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
