Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
