I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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