and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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