oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The uberlube is also flammable
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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