Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
