she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
