I met the friendliest cop last night
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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