He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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