My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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