4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
