thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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