Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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