Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
