Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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