i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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