they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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