sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
pray to the hookup gods
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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