please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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