I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
