Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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