She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
