??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
